


Better than This

by LighthouseFeminism



Series: I Give Myself to the Miracle [1]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Torture, Medical Torture, Not Quite a Love Confession, Vague angst, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-01
Updated: 2017-04-01
Packaged: 2018-10-13 14:23:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10515543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LighthouseFeminism/pseuds/LighthouseFeminism
Summary: Raven's relationship with Luna had just been sexual, nothing more. But watching her go down in the fight against Roan affected her more than she thought it would.Now she isn't so sure about "nothing more"





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, I'm back! I've turned this into a series! I intend to make a few more of these fics that can be read singularly or together, making it easier to jump in wherever. I will be moving these fics around in the series order to match the timeline. This takes place first, so it is "part 1" even though it is the second one written. The #2 is "miracle of the sea", so if you haven't read it yet there isn't any new content (beyond this fic), I'm sorry. :(
> 
> This takes place in the same "universe" as my last one, but it takes place before they've started actually dating (so, before "Miracle of the Sea").  
> *Spoilers for 4x04 and beyond*
> 
> A little bit of background, Raven started a sexual relationship with Luna around the time that Luna moved into the mansion as a way to destress and clear her head (similar to that of her and Bellamy early on). Luna has mostly let it remain without strings, until Raven found out that she still had A.L.I.E. in her head, and that it has a good chance of killing her. Luna started to show that she cares more than just as a sexual partner, but Raven has been blowing her off and trying to ignore her.
> 
> Then the events of 4x08 happen... and Raven isn't so sure about her lack of feelings anymore.  
> **edit** not sure why I put this as mature **edit**

It had been a hell of a day.

 

Raven sat, drowsy, on the couch in Luna's room, falling asleep minute by minute to the low buzz of the generators. Raven had found herself staying up later and later recently, though not by choice. Her restlessness and anxiety had caught up with her again and were greeting her like an old friend. It hadn't helped much that she had stopped her... nightly exercises with Luna. Raven couldn't see her the same since she had started getting attached. Raven didn't want anything like that. At least she started that way. She had started to feel something... strange with Luna. Something familiar but forgotten, that she hadn't felt since she was with Finn on the Arc.

 

Something that made her fight with Abby over drawing more marrow while Luna slept. The she hadn’t fought with Abby in months. Raven had tried to convince herself that she was against the idea of it. That if someone else had been knocked out and had a procedure done Raven would have fought for them too. And she would have. But this was different, this felt more personal, this was… Luna.

Shit.

A sensation started in the pit of Raven's stomach, almost like her body was in agreement.

 

As Raven fell further into thought, her eyes drifted closed and she let her head fall back onto the couch. She’d been sitting and watching over Luna for the better part of four hours by now. At this point she couldn't much help herself. She had almost found rest when she heard a deep breath and the sound of the bed springs creaking. 

 

Raven’s eyes burst open and she took a deep breath, bringing her hands up to wipe away the sleep in her eyes. Luna had sat up in her bed, and brought her back to rest against the wall. She was looking at Raven, until they made eye contact and she lowered her head to look at her hands. Raven’s breath hitched in her throat at the sight.

 

 **“I…”** Raven wrung her hands together, trying to think of something to say. What could she say? She couldn’t even stop them from taking more marrow… She stood up and closed her eyes to give herself more courage.

 

 **“I’m sorry.”** Well that was a start at least.

 

She opened her eyes slowly to see Luna had looked up at her, cold brown eyes staring through curls of red hair. Staring. Hurt. Raven’s fingers clenched, _hard._ In all the time that Raven had known Luna, she had seen the woman angry and heartbroken and frustrated. But she’d never seen her so… resigned. So defeated. And Luna gazed at her with a look so sorrowful that Raven felt that she’d been stabbed in the chest. Why? She hadn’t done anything. But still she felt the sharp point of a dagger in her heart. Why did it hurt? Raven had seen the look plenty of times before, knew she had upset people before. So why did this time hurt so much? Before Raven could stop herself, words began falling out of her mouth, trying to make the pain go away. To get Luna to stop looking at her like that. **“I’m sorry, it’s not right… Not the tests, not the marrow...”** Luna’s gaze at Raven softened and she moved to the edge of the bed, wrapping her fingers around the frame. Raven inched toward her and took a deep breath before she kept going. **“You’ve given us so much and we keep trying to take more and more and...”** Luna tries to stand up in front of Raven, but her leg faltered and Raven had to grab her arm with both hands. Luna stumbled but managed to stay upright. Luna lets out a heavy breath, adjusting to the discomfort in her leg. When she's accustomed to the pain, she looked into Raven’s eyes and spoke.

 

 **“Raven…”** , she pauses and Raven continues, without thinking.

 

 **“I’m just… I’m sorry.”** Tears started forming under her eyes, but Raven made sure to blink them away.

 

Luna tilts her head, somber, and moved a hand to the side of Raven's face. She spoke softly, a whisper as she stroked Raven's cheek with her thumb, **"Raven, it is okay. Do not blame yourself."** Raven bowed her head in shame, but Luna pressed their foreheads together and closed her eyes. Raven gave an uneven exhale, releasing the breath she had been holding in, and closed her eyes too. They sat for a moment in silence, before Raven pulled back and put a hand on Luna's shoulder. Raven looked into her eyes, her voice wavering a little, said

 **"I promise you, we won't do that again. No more blood, no more marrow. No more unless you say so."** Luna gives her a slight smile.

 **"I trust that you will."** in a movement too fast for Raven to react, Luna leans forward and presses a kiss on her lips. Not hungry, or rushed like they had shared before. Slow, methodical. It didn't take Raven long to follow suit.

 

As they separated their lips stuck together for but a moment, and then they were apart once more. They rested their heads together, neither opening their eyes. In a whisper, almost too low to hear, Luna spoke with a tremble in her voice.

**"Thank you, Raven."**

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry... I feel evil leaving it there, but it didn't feel like the right time for Raven to be confessing anything. Even though Luna may have forgiven her, Raven has always been harder on herself and probably won't forgive herself for not doing enough. At least not for now.
> 
>  
> 
> If it is any consolation, I'm immediately making another fic that focuses EXACTLY on their confessions... >:D  
> If you want to help, tell me which PoV you want to see the confession fic in! Either would be interesting.
> 
> Thanks again for reading! Constructive criticism always welcomed.


End file.
